its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
