Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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