I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize