Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Help. Why am I so naked?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
