We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
