that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
