Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
