Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
