shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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