Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize