I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
