I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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