Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
