Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
