It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize