should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We left the knife in your bed.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
