worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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