i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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