You know, be my cock's hype man.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
And then my night got REAL pukey
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize