I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Small penises have feelings too.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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