I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
