I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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