found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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