he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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