my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
