I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just high enough for therapy.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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