Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
