did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize