Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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