Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
