oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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