Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize