she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
