Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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