Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
