There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
