i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
