I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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