Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
