i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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