I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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