I think i peed on brittanys purse
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
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I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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