Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also, beer. Big fan.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
