A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
