I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the day after is always just damage control
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize