fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
