Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize