when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
