Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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