I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
