Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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