Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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