woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
