Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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