new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
