I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
