Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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