I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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