We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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