He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
