dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
