would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
