the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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