You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
